• Selecting Your Pet
• Pet Loss

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Selecting Your Pet

No matter what your age or stage in life, a pet can be a lovable companion. Whether you're old or young, living with others or alone, becoming a pet owner is a significant responsibility. That's why it is important to consider your options and learn more about different types of pets or breeds before you make a decision. In fact, the most common error cited regarding pet ownership is making an impulsive decision. By doing some advance research on animals, identifying your preferences, and recognizing lifestyle issues, you can choose the ideal pet for you.

Okay, so you've decided you want a pet. Begin by asking yourself some important questions about the responsibility, time, attention, effort and money you can commit, as well as your preferences for interacting with your pet. Consider these questions:

• How much time can you spend with a pet each day? Do you have the time to take care of the animal's daily care and feeding? Can you designate time to socialize and be a companion to your pet?
  
• Do you understand the effort required to pick up poop, clean cages, take care of illnesses and train new behaviors?
  
• Are you prepared for having another creature in your home permanently? If you rent, are pets permitted on your property by your landlord?
  
• What kind of space do you have for a pet?
  
• Will your preferred pet have enough space in your home when it reaches its adult size? Will there be enough room for it to exercise or play?
  
• Do you have the money to expend on the full spectrum of pet needs, including food, cages, litter, cleaning supplies, toys, veterinary care and possibly more?
  
• Can you handle a pet emergency - emotionally, physically and financially?
  
• How will a pet affect your other relationships?
  
• Do you accept that this pet will be part of your life for many years to come, even when your life circumstances may change?
  
• Do you have other pets now? How will they react to a new animal in the house?
  
• If you have children, is your choice of pet age-appropriate? And are you prepared to supervise your kids' contact with the pet every day?
  
• Do you want a pet that is cuddly and interactive, or do you prefer one that lives fairly independently?
  
• Do you need a pet that can be outdoors with you, or one that remains indoors at all times?
• Are a number of pet sitting alternatives available to you when you are traveling or unable to make it home?
  
• Are there other people living on the premises who might have objections to animal noises?

When you've clarified your answers, you should have a clearer picture of the type of animal that best matches your needs and preferences. Next, you'll want to do some additional research to select the specific breed or species. Pay attention to important facts like the pet's expected life span; its projected adult size; the space and resources it needs to live, eat, sleep and exercise; any special needs for caring for the pet; and any common illnesses. Also, be sure the pet you select is legal in your locality, state and the country. If you are found with an illegal pet, the pet will be seized and likely euthanized. The more research you conduct, the more likely you - and your family - will be able to choose a pet that fits.

Once you've narrowed down your options, it's time to start meeting the real candidates. Decide whether you want to purchase from a breeder or a shelter. Don't hurry. Take your time to play with the pets around people and other animals and, if possible, alone. Take a toy or two with you and see how each animal responds to you. Is the animal quick to follow your lead or distracted? Does it respond to your voice? Does it exhibit fear? Also look closely at the animal to make sure it appears healthy. Often if a pet is sick when you buy it, the situation will get worse, not better. Even if you feel one particular animal may be right for you, keep on observing and examining other animals. After all, once you make the choice, there is no going back.

First Things First

Choosing a pet on impulse may be the most common error new pet owners make, but there are others that are equally important to avoid. Here are some smart steps to start your relationship on the right path:

1. Do your research. Make sure you know all about the pet's needs, behaviors and life span before you finalize a selection. Remember, owning a pet isn't just about your satisfaction - you have a responsibility to keep your pet safe, healthy and satisfied as well.
2. Talk to current pet owners. This is particularly useful to understand the practical side of pet ownership, such as the real costs of keeping the pet, dealing with difficult behaviors and the location of the closest emergency clinic.
3. Prepare a home for your pet before bringing it home. The transition to a new environment is very stressful for animals - to say nothing of humans! It will take days, and possibly weeks, for your pet to adjust. This isn't the time to be fumbling without a prepared space for your pet to live, sleep, play and eat. Right from the start you'll need to have your basic equipment in place, including a cage, bedding, litterbox, toys and food. You may also need to do some pet-proofing of your home.
4. Make an initial veterinary exam a priority. Whether your pet is an infant or older and no matter how much you know about its history, take your pet for an initial veterinary visit as quickly as possible. The vet will conduct a thorough exam and do some important tests to make sure you pet is healthy and has, or will, receive all required vaccinations. The vet can also identify any potential physical problems and answer any of your care questions. It is vital that you have this baseline established for your pet's health and well-being.
5. For families, discuss pet handling and responsibilities. At first, every pet is fun and cute. But it only takes a little time before the grind of daily care sets in. Discuss how you will share responsibility for your pet as a family. Decide which duties will be shared and how. Make sure everyone understands what to expect while the animal adjusts to its new home and how to handle it safely. Also make sure everyone understands what to do in an emergency.

By doing your research, choosing wisely and preparing for pet ownership, you'll find a pet that makes a great addition to your life and your family for years to come.

Pet Loss

The end of a pet's life can be one of the most difficult and emotional responsibilities associated with pet ownership, whether the animal dies of old age, an illness or an accident. All pet owners know that, at some point, their pet is going to die. But the reality is always harder than anything imagined, even if you've been through it before. After years of being part of your family, losing a pet creates a heart-wrenching gap in your life. The grief can feel overwhelming. That's why it is important to think about how you want to deal with your pet's passing before the time arrives.

Euthanizing Pets

Many pet owners face the difficult decision of if and when to euthanize an aged or ill pet. You are responsible for your pet's health and welfare and, ultimately, must make the decision yourself. Your veterinarian can help you understand what the animal is experiencing physically. If your pet is suffering from a chronic illness or simply old age, the vet will help you make adjustments for any limitations or losses that happen.

How do you make this decision? Generally, you'll need to make a judgment about the pet's quality of life. If your pet still engages with you, other people or other pets, if its appetite is stable and if it is not suffering any pain, the time has not arrived. However, if your pet is in pain, cannot or will not eat, has great difficulty moving and/or has withdrawn from the world, it is probably time to bring its life to an end.

In veterinary medicine, euthanasia is a painless process that induces death. The vet makes an intravenous injection of concentrated anesthesia. The injection takes effect quickly. First the pet loses consciousness, then it stops breathing and its heart stops beating.

In addition to choosing when to euthanize your pet, you will also need to choose where to have it done (many vets will come to your home if you prefer), who you want to be there and what to do with the remains. Before the circumstance arises, spend some time thinking about these issues. Can you handle watching the end of your pet's life? Will you feel guilty or incomplete if you aren't there? Who else needs to be there? Who can be there for you -- to drive you home and give you emotional support? Do you want to bury your pet or have it cremated? Do you want a specific place to go for remembrances? Is there a favorite place of your pet's where you would like to spread the ashes? Do you want to keep a remembrance with you all the time? Your vet can take care of any arrangements related to disposing of the body, but will need to know what you want. If possible, don't leave these important decisions to the last moment, but have a plan. You can always change your mind if something doesn't feel right at the time.

Grief and Mourning

Losing a pet is no different from losing any other family member. Pet owners often go through a common five-stage process of mourning for a pet. At first, you may feel numb with disbelief or deny the truth. Next you may feel a period of intense anger ― at your pet for dying, at your vet for not saving your pet, at yourself for some perceived failure, at people you care for or at the world. The pain of loss can be so overwhelming that anger funnels off some of the intensity of the emotions. In the third phase, people try to bargain to force away the reality. Next, as the reality sinks in, you may feel helpless, depressed and unable to do your regular activities. Sadness and regret characterize this stage and you may need reassurance and comfort from others. Finally comes acceptance and an ability to make peace with the loss of your pet.

Don't be surprised by the range of emotions you experience when you lose your pet. Your reactions may seem strange or not make sense. There is no "right" way to grieve a loss of this magnitude. Be kind to yourself. Recognize that you will be fragile for a while. Give yourself time and space to learn to accept the situation and recover. Cry when you need to. Talk with others as much as you can. Be alone if that's what you require. Do whatever allows you to express your grief. Don't be surprised if other people don't seem to understand. There are many support groups online and in person that can help you get through the grieving process if your support system doesn't come through.

The loss of a pet can be particularly difficult for children. For many kids, this may be their first experience with death. The most important thing to do when dealing with your child's grief is to be honest and open. Let them talk it through. Listen closely. Reassure them. Let them know that you are sad, too, and that it is all right to feel this way. Never tell your child that the pet is "asleep" or "with the angels." They need to understand that the animal has died and will not be coming back.

Little children, age three and younger, aren't usually capable of understanding death and often associate a pet's loss with sleep. Tell your child clearly that the pet is not asleep; that it won't wake up or come back. Also be sure to tell the child that they are not responsible in any way for the death; that nothing they did or didn't do could have made a difference. Children this age may exhibit some distress, particularly in play, for a while but will move on after a relatively short period of time.

Children between the ages of four and six have misconceptions about death. They may realize the animal isn't coming back, but they can only process the loss as if the animal exists and lives underground or is asleep. It is not uncommon for kids this age to express anger or to temporarily regress in certain ways, such as having bladder or bowel problems or trouble sleeping. Again, you will need to reassure children this age that they are not responsible for the death and let them know that it is good to talk about anything they feel. Expect to have a number of conversations with these children to help them process the loss of their beloved pet.

From ages seven to nine, the death of a pet can lead a child to think about the possible loss of a parent. They tend to be curious and may ask a lot of questions about what the experience of death is and what it means. Again, honesty, openness and conversation are the best form of support. It sometimes takes time for children this age to act out any feelings associated with the pet's loss. When they do, it may affect their sociability or focus on learning for a while. Be ready to talk with them about their grief whenever the need arises.

Adolescents often hide their feelings of grief. They may mirror the reactions of adults around them or bury the feelings below the surface. Again, straightforward conversation, expressions of your own grief and listening will help them overcome these difficult feelings.